Only a few of those things can someone really detect on the outside. The rest creates a storm on the inside of a person. A storm you can’t tame easily by yourself.
There I was sitting on my bed at 9 o’clock at night alone with my racing thoughts. My husband may have been laying next to me but he can’t hear my thoughts. He is unaware that about an hour ago my anxiety was taking over every part of me.
This is how it starts.
I couldn’t snap out of it. I felt overwhelmed. Unable to catch my breath. Uncontrollably picking at my nails and fidgeting with my hair tie.
Then it moves to my chest, creating a burning sensation. Feeling like you can’t breathe right. So I bring my hand to my chest and start moving it in a side-to-side motion. My chest gets worse and worse.
It’s red now and tight. My breathing becomes fast and short. It could lead to hyperventilating if I am not careful.
I start pacing back and forth. Shaking my hands as my thoughts swirl around the trigger that set this whole thing off. Trying to shake this negative feeling off of me.
It just escalates. I feel trapped in this storm, feeling more alone than when it started. I realize that I need to suppress these feelings. My kids need me to get them to bed.
I sit down on the bed, close my eyes, and start taking long, deep breaths. Focusing on my breathing is the best technique I have found to help me.
That is what it is like to have a panic attack in my world. I hate when it happens because I almost feel like I can’t accomplish anything. I am stuck dealing with what caused it in the first place.
Anxiety is not something that you can turn off with a switch. It isn’t something you suppress easliy. It has taking me years to find the right techniques for me.
Everyone with anxiety has their own way to deal with it. Not one is the same. Except one thing.
We feel we must suffer alone.
Burdening someone else with our problems is not in our nature. We strive to tackle this on our own.
Maybe we have affected loved ones in our past and lost them because of it. This could be why we fear letting others in.
I am a victim of this.
I have lost many in my life because of problems I still deal with. It wasn’t that I put it all on them, it was that I didn’t let them in. I didn’t think it was their problem to deal with.
I thought it was my problem. I hid it. I still do. It’s not healthy.
It does more damage than help. Suffering alone shouldn’t be a thing for people who struggle. It doesn’t matter what you’re struggling with, no one should have to go through it alone.
Having support in your life is important when it comes to dealing with depression, anxiety, addiction, PTSD, or any other mental struggle.
Not everyone will be the right person to support you. You just need to find the right people. The ones who will help you, push you, comfort you, and teach you.