Motherhood. The most joyous, chaotic, sleepless, rewarding, demanding, beautiful, hard-to-let-go time in life. Being a mom is a 24/7 job. And by no means is this job easy.
I think, as moms, we try too hard to look like we have it all together. We put on this facade in public and around others in our lives. We don’t want to look weak. We are scared to be judged; turned away if we don’t agree with them.
But do we really need to do this?
Our daily lives consist of many things but mainly revolves around our kids and what is going on in their lives. We say we don’t have time to think for ourselves because we are constantly thinking about our children.
We are constantly faced with having to take everything on and not let it affect us. But, in reality, sometimes it does and we hold it in.
What good will holding it in do?
Not a whole lot. It will do more damage than good, especially to the people around us.
What is Perfect?
When we think about how we look to our friends and strangers, I think we all can agree we try to act like we have it all together. We put on makeup, make ourselves look nice, and put on a happy face.
We don’t want others to see us as something other than what they have seen. We want to seem perfect and put together not struggling. But what does being perfect mean?
To answer that we need to know what normal means. In my opinion, being normal is not something that really exists. It is something we create in our heads to compare to others. A way for us to feel better about the chaos around us; to appear like we have it all together.
Normalcy in Motherhood
Is there really anything normal about motherhood? Or are we just trying to create normal to make us feel better about how we are as a mom compared to how Sally is over there?
Sally over there always has a spotless looking house. She is always dressed up in her favorite outfit with expensive heels. She looks so perfect. Sally always looks so happy. But what if she really isn’t? What if trying to be “perfect” all the time is affecting her more than she realizes?
Motherhood is messy no doubt about that. We are all trying to find a line to balance on and seem like we know what we are doing. But we really don’t know everything.
I can tell you that when I become a mom, I was honestly terrified. That first night home with my son was the scariest night of my life. I kept thinking how am I going to do this? What if I mess up? What if I don’t wake up to feed him? What if I have no milk left? But I clearly got through it and here I am with 2 more children. I still don’t know everything about being a mom 3 kids later.
Consequences of Being Perfect
My view on motherhood has evolved since my son was born. I have realized trying to be perfect is unachievable. It’s an unrealistic goal to put on myself. Who knows what it would do to my depression and anxiety if I tried to be perfect all the time. I would probably revert back to the person I was when my depression and anxiety was at its worst.
I do know that my marriage would be affected in some way too and my children would grow up learning unrealistic expectations on life. There are so many other ways that my life would be affected by this idea.
Don’t Waste Your Time Being Perfect
When it comes to being a mom, there is nothing normal about it. It is messy, tough, emotional, but beautiful all at the same time.
We learn so much about life when we are raising our children. Our perspectives change on everything. We learn so much about ourselves and who we want to be as mothers.
I’ve realized that trying to be perfect doesn’t make me a better mom; I become someone I am NOT. It only hinders me from being the best mom I can be for my kids.
Being a mom is a tough job sometimes, but we are doing the best that we can.
Reach out to people in your life if you need help. Join my mom support group if you are struggling and need someone there for you (“Motherhood Sense Support Group” on Facebook).
Never give up. Learn from your mistakes and make it a goal to be the best that you can be!