Depression/Anxiety

Staying Above the Water

Negativity is constantly drowning our world these days which makes this post somewhat fitting. While some of you may know me personally, there is a part of me that not many people know about.

It has never been easy for me to share this side of my life because it’s ugly and embarrassing. I hide it pretty well, at least from people who don’t see me often.

Background

I have struggled with depression and anxiety for a number of years now but have also learned a lot along the way. Ways to cope, managing my stress level, finding joy in things I love, daily affirmations, and different breathing techniques are all things I have learned to “stay above the water” as you will.

I went through an experience during my teenage years that ultimately led to my depression and anxiety. The tough part was that no one in my life knew about how much I was struggling for another 3 and half years after.

I didn’t feel like anyone would understand or they would look at me differently. I didn’t see myself as someone who deserved the help. I blamed myself for years even though I had no control over what had happened.

Facing the Past

Now that I am a mom, I feel all the more pressure to “have it all together”. I have three kids and a husband who depend on me on a daily basis. I have my good days and bad days but I do my very best to be the very best that I can be for them.

I think the common misconception that people have about people like me is that we are weak. If anything I feel like we are stronger because with what we face on a daily basis.

When one becomes a mom, we tend to put taking care of ourselves on the back burner. We put others before ourselves. I have been guilty of this for most of my life and maybe some of you can relate. That is why it is crucial that moms take time to themselves every now and again.

I know that this is hard for me to accept sometimes but I know that if I don’t it will affect my family.

Finding my Voice

Sharing this part of me with other people has always been something I have wanted to do. I feel as though God has given me a platform now so that I can help others who are in the same boat. I want to be able to be there for other people who deal with the same things I go through.

I have come to realize that this world is made up of many people who are “for themselves” and that irks me to the nth degree. We are supposed to be leaning on one another and being there for others to help along the way. I want to change that.

It is not easy for me to share all of this with perfect strangers but if I am able to reach at least one person today who is struggling with the same situation and reassure them that they are not alone then it was all worth it.

Looking to the Future

While I know struggling with depression and anxiety will be a lifelong battle, I won’t stop fighting. I have three little miracles in my life that made me a mom. Being a mom has been such a blessing in disguise.

With the future in mind, my hope is to help bring this world back together in some small way. I want to help moms and people all around who struggle with no one to turn to. People who don’t feel good enough or deserving. People who are seen negatively because of their struggles.

We fight through the pain, suffering, and fear to be the best that we can be. It doesn’t define who we are as a Mom or a person. We are stronger together.

We are enough.

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2 Comments

  • Jen

    My anxiety and depression started when I was in fourth grade! It took me until age 33, when I had a terrible, terrible breakdown, to get proper treatment. I can tell you about it sometime. I had a terrible time after both my boys were born. There is no shame in getting whatever help you need–that includes therapy AND meds. I have done both. I seriously thought I was at the point of no return just a few years ago. I thought they would lock me up and throw away the key. I kind of wanted them to, that’s how bad it was. With lots of help, I climbed my way back, and I’m just fine. Anxiety will always be a part of me, but I know what to do if it flares up again.

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