How My Second Labor Scarred Me for Life

June 27th, 2018.

It was just like any other day. Hot sunny day. We had finally gotten an AC unit for our house about 2 weeks prior. I didn’t feel like I was sweating everytime I sat down on our leather couch.

My husband had worked a night shift the night before and had been sleeping since 7am. It’s noon now.

I started feeling off. A headache. More contractions. Nausea.

I could tell what was wrong but I wasn’t ready to admit it. We had been here before a week ago. But ultimately got sent home from the hospital for “false labor”.

I kept thinking “This can’t be it. I am only 33 weeks. They have 4 more to go. They are too early. What if something—“. I stopped myself before even continuing that thought.

I decided to start timing the contractions on my phone. Just to see if they were getting closer. After about an hour and a half of painful contractions I noticed they were 5 to 7 minutes apart. So I reached for my phone and called the hospital.

As soon as the nurse told me, “Why don’t you come in” my heart started racing like crazy. I looked at my one year old who was too busy watching Puppy Dog Pals to notice I had gone into panic mode. I realized I didn’t know who was going to watch him. We were an hour and a half away from my family.

We would have to take him with us.

I wobbled to our bedroom and woke my husband to tell him we needed to go to the hospital. I grabbed what I could, buckled our son in and off we went.

We finally reached the hospital and I get all checked in at Triage. My husband finally found me and rolled our son in the stroller into the tiny room. The nurse came in and took all my vitals. Checked the babies heartrates and monitored my contractions for an hour only to be told “you aren’t dilating yet and your contractions have slowed down. We are sending you home but if they come back stronger come back.”


We found out early on that the girls were considered what you call mono-di twins. Meaning that the babies shared a placenta but had their own amniotic sacs. There are tons of risks involved and lots of things can go wrong (twin to twin transfusion syndrome, stillbirth, breech position, heartrates, cord wrapping their neck…). So many things could go wrong.

So here I am thinking “why wouldn’t you keep me here to monitor the babies?” Clearly I am in preterm labor.

It is about 3:30pm by the time we got home. I hobbled inside. Decided to eat something because we were all starving. I made Xavier food. Made a quick meal and we all sat in the living room to eat.

I was still having contractions except this time I had to breathe through them. I looked over to my husband and he knew that this wasn’t supposed to happen. I picked up the phone and called my mom. (She is a Postpartum nurse and had four kids. So she was my go to for everything pregnancy.)

“Just wait a little bit,” but in my heart I knew that this wasn’t right. These contractions are painful and strong. I can hardly move around without feeling my belly tighten. I had to breathe through them…this is LABOR.

So we pack up and I barely am making it to the car. The contractions are getting worse.

We only live 20 minutes from the hospital but the ride there felt like eternity. Walking in was even worse.

Long story short they get me all checked in, vitals, and heartbeats. The nurse comes in checks me and she said I am at a 2 almost a 3.

My jaw dropped. Within a few hours I dilated. This labor was going fast.

At my last doctor’s appointment, they determined that I would have a c-section because Baby A was breech.

The nurse called the doctor to ask what they want to do going forward: stopping the labor or go ahead and deliver. The doctor told her to try checking me again and then he would decide.

She did and said she needed to get a second opinion. The second nurse checked and said “You are at a 5 almost a 6,”. I started crying.

Everyone was in panic mode and so was I. My anxiety kicked into high gear. We were having these babies tonight.

We quickly called my parents to drive down to come get my son but they weren’t going to be here in time. We called a friend near by to help so my husband could be there when the girls were born.

This was the moment I could not stop crying. I was having even more intense contractions. The doctor came in informing me we are doing the c-section NOW.

Everything was happening so fast. So many people were in the room doing their own thing. Putting bracelets on me. Confirming information. It was just chaos.

As I watched my husband push our son out of the room, I started losing it. I don’t want my son to see me like this. Scared. Crying. Freaking out.

I was now all alone with my medical team. I could not seem to calm down. My anxiety was weighing me down and I couldn’t get a handle on what was happening.

It didn’t seem real. I wasn’t ready to have these babies. I wanted it to be a happier environment. I wanted time to be with them after they were born.

As they rolled me into the operating room, all I could think about was if my babies were okay and if my husband would make it in time.

This labor scarred me.

It gives me anxiety just thinking about it.

This was my reality.

I wish it had been different.

But I am truly blessed to have two beautiful, thriving, healthy babies. ❤

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