When both my girls were finally able to leave the NICU, I don’t think I really knew what was coming. I didn’t have many expectations at that point but I knew that my life was about to change. Our little family of 3 now became a big family of 5.
Now that my girls are going on 4 months, I can confidently say that I have my bearings again (At least for now). Obviously, I am not expecting this to last long but for now I feel good.
I have learned a ton since having twins and my son but I can admit it wasn’t always easy. The honest truth is that it was honestly the most difficult change I have ever had to face.
If it wasn’t for my family and a few friends, I don’t know if we would have survived that first month. Between my mother and mother-in-law, my son was always taken care of so I could focus on taking care of the girls. With such a big change, having some consistency in my son’s life made the transition easier. And for that I am thankful for everything that they all did to help.
If you are an expecting mom or recently had a baby, ASK FOR HELP! All the people who have supported you through your pregnancy and offered to help are the perfect people to ask. Whether that’s watching the baby so you can take that shower you have wanted for 3 days now or having them fold clothes and clean dishes for you. Any little help goes a long way trust me!
Mamas accept the help because you need to take care of yourself in order to take care of your baby/babies.
After the girls were home, I had no motivation to cook anything like I used to and my amount of free time was very limited. Truth is, you really don’t have the motivation to do much of anything because you are so sleep-deprived (I don’t mean to scare all of you new mamas but it’s the truth).
Luckily, I had my mother-in-law staying with me at the time and she helped a lot with the cooking (my husband did too). My mom also made us a bunch of freezer meals that we could just pop in the oven which was really helpful.
My advice to new moms is to either make ahead a bunch of freezer meals before baby comes, accept meals from people who offer, and expect to get take-out more than you want to because you won’t want to cook. TRUST ME.
Make Time for Your Relationship
I think one of the biggest struggles any marriage or relationship has once a baby comes along is making time for one another. It is easier said than done but will be good in the long run.
It isn’t easy on either side because you both are so tired from being up with the baby (or in my case babies). All you want to do is eat and sleep when the baby (or babies) are napping.
It was very important for my husband and I to make that time for one another, especially in the beginning. If it weren’t for all the help we had I think it would have been much harder to find the time. Even if the kids are sleeping, we make it a habit to do something together that focuses on one another.
Even doing something as simple as talking about our days without any distraction goes a long way in our relationship.
Whether you’re married or not, have who ever is helping you tag team with you. If you are breastfeeding, have them burp the baby or change them for you after they finish eating. If you are bottle-feeding, ask them to make the bottles for you or maybe they can feed them some of the feeding times.
For my husband and I, he helps me a lot when I am feeding them their bottles (I breastfeed and bottle feed). He takes a baby and I take the other. It helps to have him there for feedings because it is quite difficult catering to their separate needs (Even though they are twins, they have very different personalities. It is crazy!).
Whatever it is they do to help, it goes a long way and makes for another bonding time together!
Take “Me” Time
While I cannot say I am the best at this one, I try every now and again to take some time for myself. Between my mother-in-law and husband, they would take over feeding the babies for me so I could shower and have some time to myself. It really helped me stay sane through the craziness of becoming a mom of twins.
Now that the girls are getting older, the feeding times aren’t as close together as they used to be. Which means I have times during the day where I can focus on other things.
The afternoon is when I have the most free, quiet time because all three kids nap at the same time (it took a while to get to this point but it is quite wonderful). I usually do things that I enjoy doing such as catch up on all the latest episodes of my shows (long list of shows), blog (which has become my new favorite hobby), play video games, crochet, draw/paint, or catch up on my books.
Find an activity or hobby you enjoy doing and ask someone to watch the kids for awhile so you can de-stress from the chaos. It will help you feel better and give you the chance to step back to focus on yourself.
I hope that these tips help you or maybe you can relate to. If you need help with anything or have a question, don’t hesitate to ask. I am always here and want to help you any way that I can.
Motherhood isn’t always easy but it is the most beautiful thing you will ever experience. ❤